Wife Goes Behind Husband's Back To Kick Their Daughter Out Of The House When She Turns 18

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abbyadler
Aug 17, 2022 6:00 PM EDT

A healthy marriage is all about communication. A married couple should consult each other before making a decision. Even if the couple isn't married, they should be consulting each other. Going behind someone's back sounds like there's no trust in the relationship, and a relationship without trust is doomed to fail. In today's 'Am I the A$$hole?' post, OP told us about how his wife went behind his back when she had a conversation with their teen daughter about finding a job so that she could move out when she was 18. OP's wife didn't even bother consulting him before having this conversation with their daughter, and he had no idea that his wife planned for her to move out. He discovered that she only wanted her to move out she that she could turn her room into an art studio. Sounds like she's a mom that puts herself before her own child. Scroll down for all the family drama. 

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  • 01
    Rectangle - r/AmItheAsshole. Posted by u/itsssathroway 20 hours ago 32 33 AITA for telling my wife our daughter is more important than she is?
    via u/itsssathroway

    Sounds like this family is a little off from the get-go. 

  • 02
    Font - Our daughter is turning 18 in October. She a great kid, always pulled straight A's, never in any type of trouble and she's very respectful. My wife recently decided to have a talk with her about adult responsibilities. I had no knowledge of this conversation until my daughter came to me crying because she was scared about living on her own.
    via u/itsssathroway

    Sounds like the daughter is an angel and doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. 

  • 03
    Font - I was confused at first, then she told me her mother said she needs to start looking for a job because she'll be expected to get her own place after her birthday. I was appalled because we never discussed throwing her out at 18. When I confronted my wife, she said our daughter wasn't a child anymore and needed our push to become an adult. I told her I was really baffled that she would exclude me from such a serious decision/conversation.
    via u/itsssathroway
  • 04
    Font - I asked my wife how does she expect our kid to make it on minimum wage, especially considering the rent is out of control in our area. She then informs me she had planned for us to pay half her rent until she was 20. I asked her, why she wanted our kid gone so bad. As the argument intensified, I believe she slipped by saying she needed the space (her bedroom) for her art studio.
    via u/itsssathroway
  • 05
    Font - I couldn't believe it. I told my wife if her hobby was more important than our daughter, she should be the one looking to rent. However, she took that as me saying move out but that's not how I meant it. I was implying for her to rent more space for her studio, and to leave our daughter alone. She didn't believe that's what I actually meant, she than gave me the silent treatment for 3 days.
    via u/itsssathroway
  • 06
    Font - She look stunned, and maybe in the heat of the moment I didn't choose my words wisely. I couldn't bare to see our daughter so upset any longer. I don't want her struggling to make ends meet and not be able to follow her dreams. The last thing I want for her is to feel rushed. As far as my wife goes, she's not talking to me at all and she's been cold towards our daughter.
    via u/itsssathroway
  • 07
    Font - Our daughter however was still upset as she processed her mother wanting her out. She realized moving into a rental meant she had to leave her two cats behind. She's had these cats since she was a young child, that alone devastated her. She told me, "I don't want to turn 18, I don't want to celebrate my birthday." I picked the argument back up with my wife at that point. I said, "Our daughter isn't moving out until she decides on her own terms because she is more important than you or you
    via u/itsssathroway
  • 08
    Font - GivingMeHeadaches. 19 hr. ago Absolutely, most positively, NTA. Your wife is the AH here for two reasons: one, because she has made your daughter feel unimportant to her family, two, because she did this all behind your back.
    via u/GivingMeHeadaches
  • 09
    Font - BonjourCheriex 20 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [5] ΝΤΑ your wife's priorities are indeed skewed and I hope she recognizes how disgusting her actions are, and how she has forever harmed the trust your child ever had in her.
    via u/BonjourCheriex
  • 10
    Font - SugarFries 20 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [15] NTA This is appalling in every aspect, from her disregard are her child, to hiding the planning and discussion from you.
    via u/SugarFries
  • 11
    Font - stacity 20 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] ΝΤΑ Does she even like her daughter?
    via u/stacity
  • 12
    Font - stinstin555 - 20 hr. ago edited 18 hr. ago 2 Asshole Aficionado [13] NTA. Your wife is! While 18 may very well be the age you become an adult 18 is not a age where most people are prepared to live on their own. Your wife is absolutely TA because she should have had a conversation with you before arbitrarily making an absolutely asinine decision. It may be time to take a good hard look at your marriage. Putting an art studio ahead of a child's welfare and wellbeing is ludicrous.
    via u/stinstin555

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